In this world, there are many different men. They walk the sidewalks of every city, and the halls of every school, but most of them can be easily grouped into four main categories: The Womanizers, The Social Outcasts, The Obnoxious Jerks and The Artsy Men. Every man on earth fits into one of the aforementioned categories no matter how Indy or Hipster he may be.
Let us start off with The Womanizer. The womanizer is the cheetah of the male kingdom. His qualities are always generally off putting to any woman, but like moths to a light they cannot resist. He will use his general attractiveness and expert flirting abilities to draw his prey into the trap. He will then use her, break her, and leave her on the side of the street to die. The most dangerous of all men, the womanizer is best avoided, lest you be drawn into his trap baited with the face of Channing Tatum.
Now moving onto the Nerd. The social outcast is the platypus of the male kingdom. He is immensely awkward, and lacks the ability to function in social situations, being better with computers than with people. The nerd also lacks good bodily hygiene and can often look poorly groomed and carry an invasive odor. Even though he is among the smartest of all men, you must remember that he is more afraid of you than you are of him.
Next is the Obnoxious Jerk. The obnoxious jerk is the hyena of the male kingdom. Annoying and pesterous, he is difficult to suffer through even for those with an iron will. His jokes are not funny, however he will believe them to be and will laugh at them on a constant basis. The obnoxious jerk also seems to not fully grasp the concepts of like and dislike. No matter how much you tell him that you do not like him, he will believe that you really think that he is the coolest guy on the face of the Earth and will refuse to leave you alone. Whilst not as deadly as the womanizer, he can still use his incessant pestering to trap his prey and is best widely avoided.
Finally there is the Artsy Man. The artsy man is the peacock of the male kingdom. He, as his name would suggest, a man who produces some form of art. He will be egotistical beyond the point of any other men. He will believe that his achievements in art make him more valuable. The artsy man will also be more interested in himself than he is in any woman. While being the most compatible of all men with women, his ego will sometimes get the better of him, so he is best observed from afar– in the audience.
So the next time you go out on an expedition into the world of men, make sure to know what you’re dealing with, and remember these are not people, these are wild animals. Men will never change. They will always be dangerous, wild animals, and should be treated as such.